


Gracie.

by drinkginandkerosene



Category: Degrassi the Next Generation
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Gen, Slurs, Transphobia, dysmorphia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-22
Updated: 2013-06-22
Packaged: 2017-12-15 19:15:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/853080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drinkginandkerosene/pseuds/drinkginandkerosene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Perhaps it would be easier to just be her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gracie.

When you become a burden on your family, it sucks.  
It sucks worse when they tell you about it.

My mom wants her perfect little girl, her Gracie, while instead she gets this fucked-up-as-shit, not-quite-a-real-boy, ugly-and-disgusting Adam. No matter how hard I try, how much I bind, how much I hack at my hair or deepen my voice, how much I practice my walk or buy clothes three sizes too big for my pathetic frame, I am fooling nobody.

I used to think I was a guy, my body just was wrong. I’ve been taught better. I’ve also been taught I’m not a girl either. I’ve been taught I am not human.

These lessons were harsh.  
Being beaten up in the bathroom for choosing the ‘wrong’ one, the stench of urine filling my nose as I was slammed into the ground. My clothes being torn to ‘prove’ that I was trying to lie to people, forcing me to be some sadist’s version of honest. People calling me she. Tranny. It. Gracie.

The last one hurts the worst.

When I try to be her, my skin crawls, feels like it itches, and the only way to stop it, is to burn the feeling out of it. Burning my flesh is a small price to pay for people leaving me be. At least, as her, I’m just an ugly girl.

Not a pretend boy.


End file.
